


A Beautiful Lie

by snowbarryftw



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, SnowBarry - Freeform, Various Mentioned Characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 16:28:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6617857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowbarryftw/pseuds/snowbarryftw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Caitlin is kidnapped by Zoom, see the perspective of the person left behind, and the person who has to struggle to survive. (Canon up to and including 2x18. Two-shot)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Diamond absolutes

**Author's Note:**

> (Extra lines are from Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice)
> 
> Please enjoy and leave a comment!

_There was a time above_  
_A time before_  
_There were perfect things_  
_Diamond absolutes_

Barry has never been more powerless. He never felt this way even when his mother was murdered. At least back then, he believed he somehow could convince Joe to let his father out of prison. Now, there was no convincing. There were no bargaining chips. Zoom had Caitlin. That monster had his companion. His teammate. His friend. And he had no way to get her back. It had been a day since that nightmare of a night. And all he could think of was her begging Jay to let him go, take his demonic claws away from the face that was Barry Allen. Why did she do that? Barry always considered her the most precious part of the team, even though he'd never admit it to her face. He believed she was fragile, but not in the way one may thing. Fragile connotes glass. And if there was one thing Caitlin Snow was it was strong, and heavy-duty. The glass that even when it falls it doesn't break. But every time it falls, can you really expect the same glass to return to you? No scratches. No cracks or chips? And, much to the discomfort of Barry, Caitlin had fallen more than anyone. How many more times would it be until she breaks?

He used to feel sorry for himself. Because Iris didn't like him. A petty schoolboy crush. Because his mother had died and sure, that was heartbreaking. Hell, when he found out Jay was Zoom he probably had the most visceral reaction out of anyone. But Caitlin had been to hell and back...and she still found a way to smile. Still found a way to make him smile. And he knows that Caitlin wouldn't want him to come to her rescue. That woman would rather die than see harm come to him. To Barry, it seemed like she somehow thought that the personal physician role meant she would protect him from harm even if she felt the pain instead. Every time she had been kidnapped, he'd found her, or at least put the plan into motion to save her. But that feeling of vulnerability Barry felt. It didn't go away. Maybe part of it was because it was Caitlin. Maybe. Maybe...his fists come down on the glass desk beneath him with anger, a loud shaking of the thin table running through the air as he pushed a few of his books off of it. No one was here at this time of night, so it really didn't matter how much noise he made. He wouldn't have cared anyway.

The whole day was just an extension of the nightmare. Barry had Cisco touch and examine every single piece of her equipment they saw her grasp, hoping to secure an answer to exactly where she could be, but there had been nothing yet to suggest anything. Yet. Barry's mind subconsciously input that word into that thought. Why? Because even his mind hadn't gotten used to not being the fastest man alive and just being a regular person. Walking over to the small desk in the right corner of the Cortex, he sits down on the dark chair. It was Caitlin's workspace. Her long cream coat still lay on the hinges, her scent still filling the air. It was overpowering. Peppermint, like her hair. What he wouldn't give for the ability to smell it one more time. He could smell the aromatic, flowery perfume she wore yesterday. Even her desk hadn't been touched. Neither he, nor Cisco, nor Harry discussed it, if they did, Barry would have felt like they were losing hope. Looking over the desk, Barry, for the first time, felt sadness. All of the papers, colour coded and organised into piles. The desktop computer and tablet that lay next to them, collecting dust. He wouldn't dare touch them, in fear that Caitlin would scold him for it if he did indeed take that leap. As if she was standing right behind him, watching his every move. Barry could even hear her voice still in his mind _"Barry Allen, what have I told you about touching my workspace?"_. However, it was all inconsequential when he saw the picture that lay in the photo frame.

She always would move it home in the night, never leaving it unattended. Barry had never looked, understanding the privacy of it. He really expected it to be of her and Ronnie. And that was how he knew it wasn't his concern. How he knew it didn't involve him. But the picture inside the photo frame was nothing of the sort. It was a picture she had insisted him to take. It was a selfie of Caitlin and he from the karaoke night, her sporting the short, tight, dark dress that didn't leave anything to his imagination. He shakes his head with a small smile on his face. It was THE karaoke night. The night that had resulted in him feeling things for the doctor no friend should ever feel. He put it down to the fact she was drunk, but seeing the photo, the memory being captured for all time, he felt a sense of pride. This was the picture Caitlin held most dearly. The memory she couldn't handle living without. This was why she put herself in the line of fire. This was why she was willing to die for him all those times. Because of a memory. And the hot tears were flowing down his face as he held the frame close to his body before he even recognised them. He cried as if the entire world, and all of its beauty, had come to an end. He sobbed as if he were a mere child and lost in a new city.

He wept, as if the woman he loved, had died.

 


	2. What falls...is fallen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support on the first chapter! This is the second and final part of this story! Hope you enjoy and please leave a comment if you have time! Thanks :)

_But things fall_  
_Things on Earth_  
_And what falls...._  
_Is fallen_

_"Do you believe in destiny Caitlin?"_

Caitlin remembers her answer like she had stabbed herself in the heart.

_"Maybe for you"_

Caitlin told herself she wouldn't cry. Wouldn't let Jay know he had gotten the better of her. All of his tortures. All of his sneering attacks on every member of her team as he laughed at their weaknesses. He still told her that he loved her. That somehow, in his mind, he was doing right by her. Protecting her from further pain. Yet as she sat on the white bed, the cool air surrounding her, she was undeterred. Even as the handcuffs, the chains he had put her in as if it was some kind of scene from fifty shades of grey, dug into her wrists, she promised herself she wouldn't cry. She still believed in what she believed in. That Harry would find a way to reimburse Barry's powers. That Cisco would vibe her location. However, she never stated this out loud. She believed they would find her and that was the problem. She knew Jay would kill Barry without remorse. Even if he somehow discovered a method of returning himself to the speed he was at, he wouldn't be able to handle Jay, at full power, who just seemed to leer around, waiting for the moment that he would come for her. She didn't want him to come. Didn't want him to rescue her. Because he would die in the act.

The fact she was here, without Jay lurking for once gave her some reprieve. But at the same time, her mind became filled with all the notions she knew were coming. _"You never told Barry how you felt"_. And worry did consume her at moments. The idea that he's happy now, with Iris, does fill her with thoughts of jealousy, thoughts of anger, and she knew Jay could tell. That was one of the main images he tried to coax into her mind. It made it hard for her to not take the easy way out, just like Jay wanted her to. To be with him and rule the multiverse together. It made her sick, just the thought. To think, a few weeks ago she would have considered this man someone she would share the three big words with.

She was so easy to trust. So willing to believe in someone...that she got tricked. Again. First with Thawne. Her mentor, a man who stood by her, even when she lost her fiancé and felt as if there was no point of living. Who brought Barry Allen into her life, a blessing. Someone who understood her unlike anyone else. And then Thawne revealed himself and expressed his true motive. So she left. Shut herself off. From Barry. From everyone. Went to focus on her career again, but then Barry dragged her back in. How could she say no? He needed her, and this year had proven that to her more than ever before. So then Jay came into their lives, like a crimson comet. And she let herself feel again after Ronnie. She knew she had these weird, undefined feelings about Barry, but seeing him move on to Patty, made her want to do the same. So she did. She allowed herself to open her heart...and that demon cut it in half as if it were some sick joke. When two people turn on you, when your ex-husband dies saving the city from a black hole, you'd think she'd stop believing in a better tomorrow. But she didn't. She hadn't lost hope yet, even as her heart threatened to turn cold again.

As she laid back on the pillow turning on her side,the metal of the chains clanged together, her uncomfortable dark tights still clinging to her curves, purple top clutching her petite body, sweat staining it. She thought about Harry. He'd lost his daughter. She wasn't coming back even after their heist and crusade to Earth-2 to save her. All of that meant nothing now. However, she had grown to care for the man who appeared exactly like her mentor. She wondered how he was coping, if he was working hard. She thought about Cisco. Her brother figure throughout her entire life, a man who deserved so much more than the world gives him. A man with a light inside of him, she wished she could find a way to maintain. She hoped he wasn't too lonely. She wondered about Barry. What was he doing at this moment? Was he happy? Did he miss her? Or was he with Iris, smiling as they talked about destiny? As much as the thought stung her heart, a soft smile graced her chapped lips for the first time that night. Because he was happy. And if she was indeed going to die down here, at least she knew he was safe. That was her job after all. Personal physician. Making sure his health was at utmost height. All of his health.

That included his emotional status.

And that was when her rule was broken.

Great teardrops fell from Caitlin's eyes; the heavy rainclouds in her mind letting loose their turbulent nature.

She wept, as if the man she loved, had died

 


End file.
